


i'll be there, even if the clock hands stop for a while

by 3racha (cosmic97)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Bang Chan-centric, Canon Compliant, Canon Timeline, Fluff, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, chan loves his maknae line so much, everyone tagged is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-09 10:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20852114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic97/pseuds/3racha
Summary: time is linear, it starts and never stops. things change, people change and nothing ever remains the same. chan knows this better than anyone, but he can't help but wish for it to stop.but time doesn't stop for anyone, not even him.





	i'll be there, even if the clock hands stop for a while

**Author's Note:**

> happy chan day! i hope y'all enjoy and make sure to wish our amazing leader a hbd. enjoy ~
> 
> p.s title comes from i see by j.one 🎉

"chan?"

chan curses as he hears woojin's voice call out to him and silently wipes the tears that have started to fall down his face. he clears his throat, turns off his phone and composes himself.

"yeah?"

woojin sits down next to him, a slight worry in his voice, "are you okay? i heard you crying."

"i'm fine." he says with a sigh. he looks up at the ceiling, knowing that if he made eye contact with woojin, he'd break.

_ him being fine? now that's a big lie_, he thinks but it's easier to lie then admit _ why _he's been crying for the last ten minutes.

it's embarrassing and contrary to popular belief, chan still has some dignity left, thank you very much.

he turns to look at woojin who is giving him the _look_, the one he affectionately calls the _ i know you're bullshitting me _look. god knows how many times he's seen it on his boyfriend's face. still chan can see the concern on his face and his resolve breaks.

he groans and reaches for his phone. he's embarrassed but he knows that woojin will never let it go. he's a big fan of talking about the things that bother him while chan personally likes to push everything away and pretend it never happened.

but he knows woojin and he loves him too much to hide away from his feelings. woojin who is selfless and puts up with chan's bullshit, deserves better than that. he owes him this, owes him the amount of trust and honesty that woojin gives him all the time.

he unlocks his phone and passes it to him, making sure he can't see what's on the screen. he knows that if he sees it, he'll cry again and he's done enough of that today.

"oh channie."

is all woojin says and it pulls at his heartstrings because he _ gets it. _he knows woojin understands, and will probably feel the same emotions, the same heavy heart as he looks at the picture.

on the screen is a picture of their maknae line. it's an old picture from when they were filming their survival show in 2017 and _ god, _has it really been that long? it only feels like yesterday that jyp gave him the approval to form his own group.

he can still remember it all -- the cheers when they were chosen as the group to debut, the excitement when everyone moved in together and it finally settled on everyone that it was real and tangible and debut was so close yet so far away.

the kids are cuddling on the old couch, a smile on each of their faces. hyunjin has an arm around seungmin, who laid next to felix. in felix's lap was jisung who was holding jeongin in his arms.

they're all asleep, their faces void of any hardships or stress. they look peaceful and happy. there's no camera they have to be aware of or practice that keeps them awake until the odd hours of the night.

they look so young and _ so _happy.

they look their age and maybe in another life they're just a group of kids who worry about their grades and college entrance exams. maybe in another life they don't have the stress of the idol world hanging on their shoulders.

because it's so easy to forget that hyunjin, jisung, felix, seungmin and jeongin are only teenagers. they're _ kids. _

they've been part of the industry for so long, have grown up so fast that sometimes it was so easy to forget that they were too young to carry such a burden, to live such a life that will burn them out before they even reach full adulthood.

he thinks of jisung who trained the longest -- besides him -- and constantly went out of his way to take on more and more responsibility in hope that he lightened the weight on chan's shoulders. jisung who took his role in 3racha seriously, who took their successes but mostly their failures personally. jisung who grew up in a studio, his youth forgotten as he filled notebooks with lyrics in hope of debuting.

jisung who broke down in the studios, who's hands shook with anxiety and sacrificed sleep (not that he slept enough to begin with) in the hope that they would make it.

hyunjin that practiced until his body couldn't take it and then some more. hyunjin that couldn't stop until he was perfect, who was burdened with the title of visual. who bled, sweat, and cried to prove he was more than a pretty face.

all of them had sacrificed one thing or another, sometimes everything, in felix's case, to get to where they are now.

so they treasured every moment where they could rest and act their own age. any moment where they could drop the act and be themselves and not have to worry about the way they'd be perceived.

chan remembers cooing, taking the picture with a smile on his face. it was so rare to see them all together, especially with the way jisung and hyunjin were at each other's throats.

he remembers placing a kiss on each of their foreheads as he covered them with a blanket. he remembers promising himself that he would do anything to protect them, to protect the last of the innocence they clung to.

they've grown so much since then.

his millennial line are all adults. _ adults. _god he can remember the first time he met each of them, with their baby faces and hopeful eyes. the way they looked at him as if he had all the answers and trusted him to never let them down.

jeongin is _ eighteen _ and gone now are the braces that have always made him look younger. the baby fat that clung to his cheeks is slowly vanishing and he's grown taller than chan, which pains him but also reminds him of how much time has passed.

it's bittersweet.

they can stand on their own now. they still talk to him, still confide in him and ask him for advice but they're slowly getting more and more independent each day.

he's proud, god is he proud of them.

he watched as seungmin became an mc on asc and charmed guest after guest, cheered hyunjin on as he became an mc for music core and cried tears of pride as jisung showed off his talents on masked singer.

they're doing great on their own. they don't need chan to be there anymore, don't need to hold his hand and can promote and do their own individual schedules but --

it hurts.

he had been absentmindedly looking through his photo gallery when his finger slipped and clicked on the photo. as soon as he saw the sleeping faces of the kids he helped raise, of the kids he watched grow up, he burst into tears.

it's dumb and he knows he's being ridiculous. he's proud and he's happy to see them strive but chan has raised them, has taken care of them for so long that he doesn't know how to _ feel _now that they don't need him anymore, now that they can stand on their own.

he held jisung's hand when he was scared to walk to the dorms the first time they stayed in the studio after midnight, had sat with hyunjin while he waited for his incoming test results, had spent countless nights holding felix as he cried about australia, had taken jeongin to every dentist appointment and had woken up early to make seungmin breakfast as he got ready for school.

they're _ his _kids.

and he knows it's silly to think like that, they all have parents they love very much but he was always there for them. he was there for every nightmare, every panic attack, every breakdown because they felt like they'd never be enough. he held them in his arms and reassured them that they would _ always _ be more than enough.

they're _ his _ and they're all grown up now.

one day they're going to leave the dorms, they're going to make a name for themselves outside of stray kids and have their own life and he'll get to see them once a month if he's lucky.

he knows it'll be years from now but he already misses them.

"channie, it's okay, don't cry." woojin soothes as he pulls him into a hug. it does the opposite because chan starts to cry _ again. _

he feels dumb and emotional and now he's making woojin worry.

"i'm sorry, it's just a lot, y'know." he barely manages to say through his tears.

"i know chan, i know."

and he does.

because woojin was right there with him as they watched over the five teenagers entrusted in their care. they both raised them to the best of their abilities, even with the pressure of management and debuting over their heads.

because they are just as much woojin's kids as they are his.

"they've grown up, haven't they?" chan can hear the sadness in woojin's voice as he continues, "but they're still the same kids channie."

"really?"

woojin chuckles, voice fond, "yup. innie still drinks chocolate milk because he thinks regular milk is gross, hyunjin still uses character bandaids because regular ones are boring and for adults, jisung still asks for someone to tie his shoelaces, felix can't watch scary movies unless someone holds his hand because they'll give him nightmares and seungmin prefers dinosaur chicken nuggets over anything else. they've grown up but they're still kids channie. they've barely reached adulthood and there's still so much for them to learn."

he hugs him tighter, "and yeah, one day they won't be kids anymore but that's so far from now. and i have no doubt in my mind that even when they're older that they'll still come to their channie hyung for help."

"you think so?" chan says with a wobbly smile as he wipes his tears away.

woojin presses a kiss to his nose, "i know so. as if those kids would abandon you when they get older. they look up to you y'know? it's like you have all the answers to the universe and hung all the stars in the sky. it's adorable."

chan can feel his face heat up, no doubt he's blushing but the smile on his face is wide and genuine.

"thank you, for all of this. sometimes my mind just overthinks everything and to see the reminder that time is continuous and doesn't stop for anyone is quite scary."

"you don't have to thank me. i help because i love and care about you. now come on, there's five kids out there that would love to spend time with their channie hyung right now." woojin says, standing up and holding his hand out for him to take.

chan smiles, grabs his hand and allows himself to be pulled into the living room where the maknae line is doing their designated game night.

he makes his way to felix who's watching them play a horror game from afar. he wraps him in a hug and felix practically melts in his arms.

"y_ou okay_?" felix asks in english, "_i__t looks like you cried." _

chan smiles at him, "_i'm okay, don't worry, just sometimes i get all caught up in my mind and i need to step away from it all." _

felix smiles, reaching forward to plant a kiss on his cheek, "_you'll be okay hyung and you've got all of us to help you through it." _

he chuckles, "_yeah i guess i do." _

chan looks around the room, at the kids he's raised and smiles. he cuddles felix, and laughs as jisung yelps and hides in hyunjin's chest who only giggles but pulls him close. seungmin and jeongin, who have roped woojin into playing with them, remain unbothered.

time doesn't stop for anyone, not even him but he thinks he'll be okay.

because time doesn't stop how much he loves and will always love the five kids that made seven years of training worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> And scene!  
i started this fic a while ago when i got overwhelmed by my cheelings (chan feelings) and thought about how proud chan looks when he's watching skz. Like the scene in the survival show when jyp lets minho and felix come back and chan is just watching them all reunite from a far and he has the biggest smile on his face? *chef's kiss* exquisité!!  
This fic is just me being emo about change because i hate change and time passing literally freaks me out so it was my way of dealing with it while also just writing a chan fic cos I love him. okay enough babbling, i hope you enjoyed and I'll leave my twitter down below if you'd like to say hello!
> 
> [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/cosmic_3racha)


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